Happy 2024! My deep wish is that the New Year finds you hopeful. It has been hard to stay hopeful lately, hasn’t it? There is so much suffering. There is so much fear. Still, we keep the lamp lit. The Solstice happened. The days are growing longer again. Maybe there are brighter days ahead?

Keeping hope alive is one of the reasons I committed to going on retreat this year. One of my big accomplishments for 2023 was allocating time and money to go on retreat twice. I knew that balancing the stress of parenting and teaching responsibilites, the launching of my books, and the tone of world events would wear me out. I knew I would need respite, a time and place to intentionally tune out and get quiet.

In addition to supporting my mental health, retreat has become an important spiritual practice. It is where I feel closest to my self and my god. It is where I go to find clarity and big answers to big questions. Being on retreat is not really about escaping. It’s about preparation for doing the really hard work of being human in a world that breaks your heart again and again and again. It is how I stay whole enough to remain connected. It is where I find the tools to reduce the harm I cause. After all, that is what we can actually control.

Maybe going on retreat is something you hope to do one day. If so, I am rooting for that! Below I will answer some questions and share resources that might help. Comment if I leave anything out.

Where do you go?

So far I have attended silent multi-day meditation retreats at Vallecitos Mountain Retreat Center in New Mexico and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Marin, California. This year I hope to go to the Insight Meditation Society center in Barre, Massachusetts. I have a few other places on my radar including Rocky Mountain EcoDharma Retreat Center, Karmê Chöling, San Francisco Zen Center and Upaya Zen Center. At the moment, I prefer Vipassana style group retreats led by Buddhist meditation teachers, but centers like Esalen, Garrison Institute, Omega Institute, and Krapalu offer other types as well, including self retreats where you do your own thing. I have heard great things about the Art of Living Institute too.

Why silent?

The kind of retreats I do are based in Buddhist philosophy and spiritual practice. These retreats are typically silent. Meals are silent. Sitting is silent. Walking is silent. If you have a roommate, you don’t talk to them either. We try not to meet eyes or smile at each other. The silence is called “noble silence” and it is not so much a restriction as an invitation. An invitation to go and stay inward. To, as Sister Chân Diệu Nghiêm says, lay the foundation for deep listening. Noble Silence is an invitation to put down our personalities and performances and all of the ways we go around trying to communicate who we are to other people. On retreat there is no need to explain what we do or where we come from or who we live with or that we are out here just trying to be good. On retreat, you get to discover who is underneath all of that. It is amazing how vast and how simple the answer can be.

A lot of people react with disbelief that they could last 6 days without talking. But my guess is a lot of those people could totally do it and would, in fact, love it. The silence isn’t lonely and over several days it becomes a kind of cozy blanket you can count on. It isn’t boring either. The mind is such a fascinating beast – wildest show you’ll ever watch! With the mouth at rest, my ears and eyes pick up so much more. It helps that many retreat centers are set in beautiful natural environments. There is time to stare at flowers and butterflies and to listen to the rain. There is some talking by teachers in the form of talks and meditation instructions. We also meet with teachers in small groups to ask questions, but those are not conversations with other retreatants. You do feel closer to the people in the room though and have some guidance for your practice.

What do you do all day?

At Spirit Rock we woke up around 6am and begin sitting meditation at 6:30 until breakfast at 7. After breakfast there was a bit of a break for yogi chores and personal care, then we started alternating sitting and walking meditation until lunch. Two of the days we had our group practice meetings in the mornings as well. After lunch there was more time for personal care and yogi chores, going on hikes, and an optional QiGong class. I usually rested in my room and took a nap. Dinner was on the early side and then there was more sitting and walking. The evening ended with a dhamma talk by the teachers and some chanting or singing which was a lovely way to close the day. I was in bed by 10 every night. While not a lazy way to spend the break, it was restful.

One warning: Retreat can lend itself to creativity (two of my published poems are about being on a retreat) but a writing retreat is a very different thing altogether. Technically on these retreats noble silence includes not reading or writing. We also observe the five precepts.

Is it affordable?

Retreats come with a wide range of costs. The organizations hosting them are usually doing so for altruistic, ethical, and/or religious reasons so it is in their best interest to make them affordable. Yogi retreatants are often assigned chores on retreat to help keep staff costs low. Scholarships are available, particularly if you are from a marginalized community or have financial hardships. The Hemera Foundation supports the attendance of teachers and writers at contemplative centers across the United States, sometimes on a yearly basis. Don’t asssume retreat is out of reach. People want to support connecting others with these practices. The 10 day retreat courses hosted by centers founded through S.N. Goenka are free (they have a very simple and very intense vibe). There are also one day retreats that don’t require an overnight stay, and if these centers are local to you, there might not be any travel costs.

What if I want to talk or write or do yoga?

There is absolutely a retreat for you, too! Here are few offered by friends that look WONDERFUL.

Massanutten Resort Wellness Retreat May 2-5, 2024

Permission and Refuge: A Healing Retreat for Men of Color May 19-24, 2024

Nourish Retreat for Women Hosted by My Centered Self June 21-23, 2024

International yoga adventure, anyone? Hilltop Healing is going to Croatia, Costa Rica, and Greece!

Poets & Writers offers a whole database of writing residencies and retreats.

The Highlights Foundation is booking 2024 and the scholarship application opens up soon. It includes opportunities for solo writing retreats.

The “Miss Sarah” Fellowship for Black Women Writers aims to provide Black women writers a restful environment conducive to reflection and writing. Trillium Arts offers others as well.

The Virginia Center for the Creative Arts has two residency sites for retreats and fully funded fellowships.

What if I can’t get away?

Sigh. I get it. Mom going away on retreat is something I have trained my family to help me prioritize and luckily we are in a position to do so (with a lot of advance planning). This is not possible for everyone, (although here is an organization offering sleep retreats for special needs caregivers). I think the heart of the idea of retreat is to take time and space away from your situation, whatever it is, so that you can really see and be with yourself. Retreating doesn’t actually have to be very far or very long, if it is time spent intentionally reflecting. It can be a day or even just an hour. Sorry, but going to Target doesn’t count. The next time you find yourself in a room all alone, don’t start folding laundry or dashing off another email. Just sit there. Watch your mind. Watch your heart. See what happens.

Listen, each of us has one job in 2024: to stay among the sane and the kind. Do what you can. Do what you must. Maybe I will see you on retreat.

What I’m Teaching Right Now:

Butterfly Yellow by Thanhhà Lại:

“In the final days of the Việt Nam War, Hằng takes her little brother, Linh, to the airport, determined to find a way to safety in America. In a split second, Linh is ripped from her arms—and Hằng is left behind in the war-torn country.Six years later, Hằng has made the brutal journey from Việt Nam and is now in Texas as a refugee. She doesn’t know how she will find the little brother who was taken from her until she meets LeeRoy, a city boy with big rodeo dreams, who decides to help her.Hằng is overjoyed when she reunites with Linh. But when she realizes he doesn’t remember her, their family, or Việt Nam, her heart is crushed. Though the distance between them feels greater than ever, Hằng has come so far that she will do anything to bridge the gap.”

News and Reviews:

“Blackberries” was published by the West Trade Review as a winter online exclusive. Here is the print and here is a recording. This was the first poem I ever really tried to write. Full circle moment to share it with the world!

A-TRAIN ALLEN was recognized as a top Picture Book Read Aloud by Fuse 8 Blog, which noted “this is one of the best read-alouds of the year: vibrant language (look at all those verbs), colorful dynamic digital art, and plenty of chances to get kids interacting with the story.”

NEARER MY FREEDOM continues to stun us with its success. We are delighted that Olaudah Equiano’s story is resonating with people of all ages. Last month, it was named a YALSA Finalist for Excellence in Nonfiction by the American Library Association. The winner will be named at the end of January, but it is glorious to be nominated for the short list. There will be a School Library Journal webinar featuring the authors on Thursday, January 18, 2024 at 2pm.

NEARER was also named a Cyblis Award Finalist for High School Nonfiction. It is an honor to be in such incredible company.