And we are back! I hope the last six months have been good to you. Are we ready for 2025? It’s sure to be a doozy! I will fill in the highlights in the news and reviews section, but first I want to share some thoughts about Doubt, which has been coming up for me a lot, especially as the new year approaches. In Buddhism, Doubt is considered one of the five hindrances to practice. It can show up as a lack of trust in oneself, in the teachings, or in the path itself. Lately, I have been filled with Doubt about so much – my writing, parenting, teaching for a third decade, our nation’s politics, the world – just all of it. It has been hard to keep the faith.

Seeing Doubt Clearly

The dharmic antidote to Doubt is to examine it closely and see it for what it is – the thinking mind doing what it does best, concocting stories and trying to take control of this slippery thing called life. If I approach my Doubt with curiosity, I can see underneath and find all of the confusion and anxiety it feeds on. It’s like turning over a rock to find a muddy underworld squirming with life. Insecurity that my poetry is any good. Misgivings about my current manuscript. Hesitation about accepting public speaking opportunities. Fear that I am not a good enough mom. Regret that my house isn’t cleaner. Worry that I am not a reliable friend. Distress about the election. Dread for the environment. Horror at the growing global war. Concern that I am doing too little. Reluctance to get involved with too much. The thread running through all of it is that I am not, have never been, and never will be good enough. The world is disaster, and I am letting everyone down. Hello, first-born people pleasing perfectionism.

This pile of Doubt can loom large some days. And it can feel paralyzing. Ultimately, I cannot know or control the outcome of most of my endeavors whether they be a picture book on submission or raising my child to be a good person or fighting racial injustice, poverty, and hunger. On some level, my Doubt just wants to protect me from potential embarrassment, disappointment, and sadness. Quit while I’m ahead! Curl into a ball! Better yet, go full recluse! If I don’t try, I can’t fail. Right?

That’s not living. So what might we do instead?

Working with Doubt

Picture the characters in the movie Inside Out. What would Doubt look like? Whatever comes to mind, we don’t need to fling Doubt away, bury it in the deep, or hand over the wheel. An alternative is to meet my doubting self with compassion. Of course she wants control. Of course she wants to play it safe. Of course she is trying to make life much more predictable and much less imperfect and impermanent.

Like all difficult emotions, we can befriend our Doubt. What if my Doubt is actually on my side? What if it wants the best for me? The possibility is that I can live harmoniously with my Doubt. I can welcome it, hold hands with it, make it a cup of tea, and tell it to Calm. Down. Loving-Kindness, or Metta, meditation is a beautiful and easy way to offer ourselves, and our Doubt, the kind of softness we would extend to a friend.

Next I can ask, what does my Doubt want to show or teach me? Maybe there is a lack of clarity and I need more information. Maybe I have a lack of confidence and need advice or support. Maybe I am scared because I care so much and something really matters to me. Maybe I am not ready to take the next step and need to slow down. Maybe I am about to swerve out of my lane and get involved in something that will take me away from my true purpose. Acknowledging Doubt can help us recognize priorities and needs. Answering the questions that our Doubt raises can help us find greater alignment.

Finally, I can move forward with Doubt but give greater voice to Equanimity, Wisdom, Courage, and Confidence. Sure, things might not work out, but I probably won’t die. Sure, things might not work out, but I am learning. Sure things, might not work out, but I can try something else. Sure, things might not work out, but what if they do?

At the end of the day, we cannot actually be brave unless we are scared. Where ever Doubt is showing up in your life, it’s okay! Just keep going.

I’d love to hear how you are dealing with Doubt in the comments. And just this once, will you forward to a friend who might enjoy this post?

Onward.

News and Reviews

Children’s Africana Book Awards

In October, Nearer My Freedom was honored as a best Chapter Book by the CABA committee. There was lovely ceremony at Howard University, which turned out to be even more special because Monica’s niece was able to attend and accept her award on her behalf and my parents were in town. Sharing these moments with our families and friends was the icing on a delicious cake. Monica and I are deeply grateful to Africa Access , the Outreach Council of the African Studies Association (ASA), and the Center for African Studies .

NCTE Boston

I had the best time in November at the National Council of Teachers of English conference in Boston. It is a time where all my professional selves can find joy. I attended a wonderful workshop on teaching sentences, presented on the work of MoCoLMP with my colleague Caitlin Barr, and hosted a table at the Children’s Book Award Luncheon in honor of Nearer My Freedom. There were fantastic keynote speeches by Bryan Stevenson, Ada Limón, and Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. I am already cooking up proposals for next year and cannot wait to reconnect with all of the good people who love reading, writing, and books in Denver.

Poetry Magazine Publication

Teachers and Writers Magazine

I took an awesome class through Teachers & Writers magazine called Soul of Summer, which turned out to be a week long exploration of Surrealism with the poet Damien McClendon. Damien documented our work (and a poem I wrote!) in this article. I did not know much about surrealism when the class began, but loved how the mentor texts and prompts expanded my thinking and the possibilities for my work. There is so much out there to explore, for all of us as teachers, writers, and students. Truly inspiring.

Upcoming Events

This session will introduce educators and families to K-12 children’s books in preparation for Black History Month and Black Lives Matter at School Week of Action. There will be author talks followed by a book signing. The event is hosted by Teaching for Change, with cosponsors, at Busboys and Poets (14th & V Streets NW) as part of the monthly Beyond Heroes and Holidays series. Busboys and Poets Books will handle the event book sales and signing. 

Event details:

• Date and Time: January 22nd, 2025 6pm – 8:30p.m.
• Author talks: 6:30 – 8:00 p.m.; book signing 8:00 – 8:30 p.m.
• Location: Busboys & Poets 14th & V (2021 14th Street NW)
• Event Link: https://www.teachingforchange.org/black-lives-matter-in-books 

Things I recommend

These three poems for a New Year:

“i am running into a new year” by Lucille Clifton

“Burning the Old Year” by Naomi Shihab Nye

“Rain, New Year’s Eve” by Maggie Smith

My cousin’s book: No One Gets to Fall Apart by Sarah LaBrie

Country music by Don Louis

Leslie Odom Jr. live in concert

The Beyonce Bowl

The art of Mickalene Thomas and her show All About Love

Tatte – it’s a great place to write (shoutout to the City Ridge location where this blog post was finally drafted and thank you to my accountability partner Traci Tay!)